[ Posted on May 17, 2008 @ 9:09 pm ] raphaela So I had a really bad headache and I drank two drinks, even though I was having trouble forming thoughts after one. Now I am just sad. Various things. Various reasons. Just a general feeling of, "I suck, and I have screwed up my whole life, and options I want will never be available to me because of things I did in my twenties. Like not take my GPA seriously, and file for bankruptcy over $7k of debt. Which, at the time seemed insurmountable, but now seems ridiculous." And also, alcohol makes me thirsty. It's like, I tried so hard to be good in certain areas, and was so mediocre in others that I can't get a balance now. The areas I tried so hard to be good in, I wish I'd just been bad. And I wish I'd done better in the mediocre places. I don't know. I just don't know. I wish I hadn't had the drinks, because I want to leave, but I don't dare try driving. At least the headache is gone. (Am being very careful to correct typos. The LJ equivalent of trying to be quiet, sneaking into the house on a drunk.) Read (2) Comment

Spring Running [ Posted on May 17, 2008 @ 9:28 pm ] pkmorrison It's a strange thing, but the first week of May, right on up to around the 12th or 15th or so, has always been unusually evocative for me. It isn't necessarily even connected with some major event, like Jim proposing, which of course put a mythic longing and achingly reminiscent spin on the first week of May forever. Could just be a cool, windy, rainy day, with the new ridiculously green leaves and the white blossoms on the pear trees all flying. But there's something about the quality of the air, and the way it smells and feels, as it transitions from one season to the next, that just sandbags me, buckles my knees, the freshness of it, and the light, that gets me every time. Makes me want to weep, and also exalts me clean out of myself. Even when I was a kid. As some of you may have noticed from reading my books, I'm a big fan of weather and seasons. Right up there with jewelry and hair. And it isn't just spring that can haunt me right there in the middle of itself. Autumn does the same, even better; and winter, only different of course. It's only summer that doesn't grab me the same way, mainly because I hate the heat and humidity. But even summer can do it: an afternoon with a thunderstorm on the way, everything all hot and thick and waiting, the leaves are so thick and green they smell like milk. And then when the storm finally hits, the gaspingness of it, the smell of the rain on hot stone pavement or roads, the wind that's like a slap in the face. But these few middle weeks of spring are to me the most poignant, damn near unbearable, as they change and slip away for another year. And I just felt like talking about it. (I hope at least one or two fellow Kipling fans caught the title...) Read (1) Comment

THANK GOD FOR FANDOM WANK!!! [ Posted on May 15, 2008 @ 10:36 pm ] crevette [ mood | amused ] 1. Bad, bad claim yesterday. Let's just say REDRUM. 2. Migrane. 3. PMS from Hell. 4. Bloating 5. Loss of office. And door. And privacy. And dignity. And job satisfaction. All equals bad, bad, bad mood. And yet, within a half hour I am chortling and guffawing (quietly, and in the dark because of the head that will not let me rest). All I can say is THANK ALL THE GODS FOR The Mall Ninja. Seems the guy is a highly-trained, well armed, rapid response.... security guard at a mall. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. [And here the myth begins”] Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We “RTFers”, by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory. .... Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn’t get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. And he's responsible for keeping order at an indoor retail shopping area: You all who are makeing fun of me have never been threatened by jailed drug dealers, serial killers, and shoplifters, .... If a kid picks up a candy bar and runs, you give him a warning before you cuff him. Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog, you warn them that they will be charged with a felony(grand theft), and that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately, first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to maim, then wounded. Fortunately, wounding fire to suppress teenage kleptomaniacs is relatively easy, they all run in straight lines, and a hit in the knee will be relatively simple from the second floor. But he really does help people: I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily, so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life. AHAHAAAA! Blessed, blessed OTF wank. Of course, I thought the one with the 46 year old guy going on SL as a female squirrel who was pretending to be a female bunny and ended up getting married to a guy bunny and having two creepy children with him (Batshittery COMPLETE with lots and lots and lots of pictures HERE)while his real life girlfriend of two decades was breaking up with him--to the point of have a Second Life wedding TO THE OTHER GUY/Bunny while the girlfriend was in the hospital--and then being hurt when the other guy/bunny DIVORCED him for being a guy was the ultimate. Does that even work as a paragraph? Oh, who cares. That much batshit insane does not NEED mad grammar rulez. That much batshit insane generates its own special kind of grammar. Specifically, batshit insane grammar. Ahhhh. 1. Bad, bad claim = Still there, but the prick who killed her is in jail, and in Texas which means he won't sit long before they fry his ass. 2. Migrane--ow ow ow. Still there, but laughter helps. Or not. But still. 3. PMS from Hell--has found suitable outlet on the intarwebz. 4. Bloating--it'll pass. 5. Loss of all above= still have a job and able to pay bills. Plus, I've never fucked a horse, been a mall security guard or married a rodent in a computer simulation. Life is GOOD. Read (23) Comment

SV [ Posted on May 15, 2008 @ 5:36 pm ] venicebreathing ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. ) Comment

staffing [ Posted on May 15, 2008 @ 4:13 pm ] kebias [ mood | giddy ] From:  Jim Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 2:41 PM To: HQ IT Desktop Support; HQ IT Desktop Deployment; HQ IT Desktop Implementation Subject: staffing It is with great regret to inform you that Kevin M**** is resigning from H****… his last day will be May 30th.  Kevin has been with us for 8+ years, and his contributions are very much appreciated (p.s. – who wants V.P. support?? ).     Please join me in wishing Kevin the best of luck in his future endeavors.    Read (2) Comment

From beneath you, it devours.... [ Posted on May 15, 2008 @ 2:51 pm ] kebias  "I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready.  They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now. 'Cause we just became an army. We just declared war.  From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one, until The First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that's us. Any questions?" Read (2) Comment

CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER???????? [ Posted on May 15, 2008 @ 2:38 pm ] kebias   California Supreme Court strikes down the state's ban on same-sex marriage as unconstitutional.  GO TEAM HOMO!!!! WOOT!!!! Read (1) Comment

[ Posted on May 14, 2008 @ 8:06 pm ] raphaela So Monday I went and picked up my transcript after work, taking Thor with me. Then we went to the grocery store. I was exhausted and went to bed early. Good thing, because I soon realized that I hadn't taken care of catering for Tuesday's big meeting, which meant getting up even earlier than normal and being at work before 7 AFTER having been to the grocery store again at 6:30. Full day meeting, then home again, where I fell asleep waiting for B to tell me what he wanted to do for dinner. Today, after setting up for another meeting, I went to UTA on my lunch and turned in my transcript, then returned to work for ANOTHER 4 hours of meeting. Okay, 3.5 hours. Now I'm home again and...I have no energy left. Trying to find some. Somewhere. Read (1) Comment

[ Posted on May 14, 2008 @ 7:56 pm ] raphaela I have no time to type. I have time to say, "I will be in IreneDariceville soon! Yay! Yay!" Comment

Block Island [ Posted on May 13, 2008 @ 1:57 pm ] pkmorrison Well, it's not BLOCK, exactly. It's just that I'm having a really, reeeeeeally hard time with "California Screamin': Murder at Monterey Pop." If, indeed, I can say that about a book that's already 80,000 words long. I'm very, very happy with the characters and what they're doing/how they're growing; that part's easy. But the mystery part...giving me unbelievable trouble! And I don't know why. I have NEVER had such problems with a book before, and perhaps, after publishing ten, and writing at least as many again (a huge, annotated book about Jim, me and spirituality which will probably never be published; a kid's book that my agent deemed too sophisticated for kids and not meaty enough for YA, but would have been illustrated by Tom Canty; the Viking book; plus all the Rennie ones currently in various stages of completion), I guess maybe I was due for a rough patch. My books have all come so INCREDIBLY easily, always, that I just figured a book of mine always would... And this one too. Until now. Admittedly, the murders are fairly complex this time, with a veritable fishmonger's stall of red herrings. Without giving too much away, the murderees and murderers are deeply intertwined and interconnected, and hopefully you won't guess First Murderer until the big reveal at the end. But maybe you will. And I'm still stuck on how Second Murderer is discovered. And Third Murderer. The rest of the book I'm really proud of. There's some very nice music writing, if I do say so myself, about the Festival itself: the actual, real bands as well as the big breakthrough appearances of Turk, Prax and Tansy, and the local color. Plus the growth of Rennie as a person, and some cameos by people like Janis Joplin and Jerry Garcia, and some new characters I'm very pleased with and hope you will be too. Alas, it won't be out in June, as I in my traha had recklessly boasted. But since the third book is done, I still hope to have both of them out this year. It's the figuring out the denouement of the mystery angle and the reveals that has me all knotted up. But, tempting though it is to use the Gordian Plot Device ("And then the sun went nova and everybody died! The End."), I'll make them bend to my will yet. You'll see. And, by Gwydion, god of writers, and Kwang Gung, god of war and literature, so will they. Read (4) Comment

Chicago peeps, snixen and Alphas: Mourn the Spyglass [ Posted on May 12, 2008 @ 4:28 pm ] crevette [ mood | sad ] ...picture my sad face now. Best view on Clearwater beach without selling a kidney. Spyglass to be torn down CLEARWATER — At one time, it was nine stories of kitsch, known for cheap rooms, a blazing neon blue sign and the hot-air balloon mural emblazoned above its entryway. But over the years, the 64-room Spyglass Resort started to wear down. It leaked, it had broken windows and chicken wire patched the balconies. Now Clearwater leaders want the old S Gulfview Boulevard landmark gone. And the current owners of the empty building may be able to accommodate the city's wishes, perhaps within four to five months. If they do, city officials are ready to say good riddance. "It's an eyesore," Mayor Frank Hibbard said Monday, summing up the general feeling of the City Council during a work session. It wasn't always a mess, though. Tourists checked in from all over the country, and teens hung out there. Visitors spent a lot of time gazing at the 100-foot-tall mural, which depicts a blue sky, a hot-air balloon and a bearded sea captain peering through a sextant. "In its heyday, it was a fabulous place, a really, really neat hotel and everyone was so used to seeing that balloon," said Sheila Cole, executive director of the Clearwater Beach Chamber of Commerce. Built near the S Gulfview Boulevard and Coronado Drive split for $1-million in 1971, the Spyglass was the tallest building on the beach at the time. In November 1978, home-grown artist Roger Bansemer spent six days painting the mural. At one point, he hung over the resort's ledge to finish because he couldn't get the scaffold up that high. As he worked, the resort's owner offered a free weekend at the motel and a balloon ride to whoever guessed when he would finish the mural. (It was done Nov. 14, 1978.) A few days later, a Largo visitor told the St. Petersburg Times: "I never bothered to look in that direction before. There was nothing worth looking at. Now, whenever I go across the causeway, I always glance at the mural. It gives me a nice feeling." Today, however, the mural and the building it adorns occupy a spot that developers want to turn into a massive 250-room resort with 200 time-shares. To do that, the old hotel has to go. And soon. Thursday, attorneys for Tampa entrepreneur and philanthropist Kiran Patel and his Miami-based partners, the Related Group, will ask the city for an extension on the deadline negotiated with the city to start their $250-million long-delayed project. Developers initially wanted to start work on a resort 150 feet tall and 500 feet across with 350 condo-hotel units and 75 condominiums by the fall of 2006. Then the condo market collapsed, and poor sales thwarted their efforts. Now they want to build hotel rooms, not condos, but they'll need more time to come up with designs and secure permits. So developers are asking for a March 2010 start date, something the council appears ready to grant — as long as the property is cleaned up within five months. That would be in time for the city's annual Ironman triathlon. That means the Spyglass, as well as another smaller building on the property, would have to go. Once they're gone, the city hopes to lease that property for desperately needed beach parking spaces. (Clearwater already leases 103 temporary spaces on part of the 3 acres that at one time included the Days Inn and the Beach Towers.) "That sounds fair," said the developers' attorney, Ed Armstrong of Clearwater. He added that the project will be smaller and new designs could be turned in within a couple months. Meanwhile, the Spyglass, which closed a few years ago except to serve as a sales center for the condo project, has about four months left to stand. "It was a landmark, but like everything else, it goes with progress," Cole said. "Out with the old and in with the new, I guess." Read (10) Comment

Pics from yesterday May 11 ( 24 SPOIER ALERT ) [ Posted on May 12, 2008 @ 7:02 pm ] kiefer_daily [lorelai_dflack] [ mood | happy ] Shooting 24 in LA. Click here.      Just a link to the pics, because like I said it's pretty spoilerish. :) Random sexy pic of Kiefer: Read (2) Comment

[ Posted on May 12, 2008 @ 9:08 am ] raphaela ciaryn posted this link to a story about Irena Sendler, a woman who masterminded the salvation of some 2,500 Jewish children from the Warsaw Ghetto during World War II. Mrs. Sendler passed away this morning, at the age of 98. I think what touched me most about the story was this: In hopes of one day uniting the children with their families — most of whom perished in the Nazis' death camps — Sendler wrote the children's real names on slips of paper that she kept at home. ‘A true miracle’ When German police came to arrest her in 1943, an assistant managed to hide the slips, which Sendler later buried in a jar under an apple tree in an associate's yard. Some 2,500 names were recorded. We need more of these stories. You know why? Because valor breeds valor, just like evil breeds evil. When people know what good can be done, they can repeat it, and do even more. And courage like Mrs. Sendler's must be honored. How poetic is a jarful of children's names, hidden under an apple tree? Read (1) Comment

[ Posted on May 11, 2008 @ 6:39 pm ] raphaela So the Gospel Brunch was very nice. My mom loved it, and honestly, it was kind of fun to get all the hoppity church music without any of the sermonizing. I love good hoppity gospel music, and this was certainly it. Sometimes I think a good church service would be music only. But not music like they do at white churches. Has to be black church music. Otherwise it's just...pale. I think Jesus would have played bass. Read (2) Comment

[ Posted on May 11, 2008 @ 9:20 am ] raphaela I'm taking my mom to the House of Blues Gospel Brunch for Mother's Day today. irishtempest gave me the idea last year, when she wanted to go for her birthday. I'm sure we'll enjoy it. B and Thor are going to B's parents' house to celebrate. For Mother's Day, I got a diaper full of poop. My kid is such a giver! Now I need to start getting dressed. I have no idea what one wears to a gospel brunch, but I'm sure the dress code does not include pajamas. Even if your nearly-three-year-old has declared them pretty. Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there who has ever had a mother. Read (2) Comment

[ Posted on May 09, 2008 @ 10:27 pm ] raphaela So Irene and I were talking, and she mentioned that she's going to be writing Orlando a Dear John letter, in favor of Robert Downey, Jr. I think I threatened to cut her. See, I've got a thing for junkies. I don't know exactly how it came about, but I likened all my old favorite addicts to being the bad girl version of My Little Ponies. You know, My Little Junkies. It's sad that my crush on John Taylor peaked with his drug use, and then rapidly declined with his sobriety. Then again, John Taylor's hips peaked with his sobriety, too, and I do like my imaginary boyfriends skinny. Skinny and tweaking. In other music news, I can't help changing the lyrics to Danity Kane's song Damaged. The real words go: Damaged, my heart is damaged something something something Damaged. Damaged. something something rhymes with something And I sing: Damaged, my brain is damaged. And that is why I act so slow. Damaged. Damaged. I eat the checkers then I beg for mo' I guess you could have My Little Junkies and My Little Cokewhores too. So random. Okay, goodnight. Read (3) Comment

[ Posted on May 09, 2008 @ 12:02 pm ] raphaela So when the same adult woman comes to you on three separate occasions with the same story about how everyone else is wrong, and everyone else hates her, and she's going to go eat worms, what do YOU tell her? Cos I kind of told her to grow up and act like the leader she wants to be. (That, or she could get a LiveJournal and whinge about her problems there instead.) I was asking myself if I took my own advice, and I passed my test. The only person I haven't confronted about issues lately is the one guy who has been aggravating me, but I'm working that out in a different way. Read (1) Comment

Clothes Clothes Clothes [ Posted on May 09, 2008 @ 10:22 am ] raphaela I always want to look "right" but I also always want to look like me. I want to wear what is fit for an occasion, but the fit has to be Lane. Yeah? So I wanted to look "right" to go talk to the Arts Council because when people think you are one of them, they give your opinions and ideas more credence, and they like you more. In short English, I am a poser, but a bad one. ( If you want to read my rambling about my clothes, click. If you don't, I do not blame you one bit! ) Read (2) Comment

[ Posted on May 09, 2008 @ 6:40 am ] raphaela Hello. It is 6:40AM. I think I fell asleep for the first time around 6 last night. Thor fell asleep in the car, on the way home. That was before 5PM. I woke up for about 45 minutes to watch an episode and a half of Futurama with B, then fell asleep again. Just got up. Thor just got up, too. I guess we were tired. Wow. I get to go meet with the Arts Council today, and I'm a little sad because allergies mean no contact lenses. I had an outfit all planned, but it doesn't go with my glasses. Shoot. Comment

[ Posted on May 07, 2008 @ 3:47 pm ] raphaela Do you know that I have not ever in my life made a B on anything Math related? Straight As in Physics and Chemistry, but not Math. I am so chuffed! I printed out my scores and hung them on my cube wall, and my boss did a chair dance for me. I am so proud of my average Final exam score...lol! I made a 77 on a math final! I knew over 75% of the material! *** Hee! *** Apparently, I am giddy. Read (2) Comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]